I Loved a Girl Once... Too Much
by Anne O. Nimus
Summary: Is there even such a thing as loving someone too much? Kurama's POV... don't forget to R&R!!


I Loved a Girl Once… Too Much 

Author: Anne O. Nimus

Disclaimers: I don't own YYH… the stuff written on the card comes from the song "My Girl, My Woman, My Friend" sung by Jose Mari Chan… I got the name Gisuke from the book "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden

"Real love, I've learned is a very, very strong form of forgiveness. I don't think people yearn for love because they hate staying home alone on Saturday night or because they dread going into restaurants alone. People want to love because they want their taped-together glasses or five extra kilos to be forgiven. They want someone to look past the surface stuff like bad-hair days, a too-loud laugh or potato chips crunching in their living room couch when anyone sits down."

**                                                           -Lois Smith Brady, "Love Lessons" (Simon & Schuster) **

Roses are red. That's what they usually say. But for me, roses, aside from being deadly weapons, are an instrument of love. They're not just red.  They are in fact, very colorful. Maybe, at your first look, you just see its red color. But try looking at it differently. You'll see what I mean.

That was what I used to believe in, and _used to believe_ are the operative words. Now, I believe that roses are nothing more than a mere… plant. Sure, they come in handy when I'm in trouble, but I've got deadlier plants. I can't just rely on one weapon can I? I've got tons of plants… heck… I can defeat some enemies with my bare hands. What do I need roses for anyway? They're pathetic…

I know, I know… I don't sound like my usual ningen self. I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be optimistic… always looking forward to a brighter tomorrow. I'm supposed to be happy. I'm the most eligible bachelor in my school and girls are all fawning over me.  Hn.  Yeah right. All of the girls swoon when they see me smile at them… all except for one.

That's right. I'm acting like this because of one girl… one girl… I didn't believe it myself at first. But then, as days went by and I see that she's there, smiling at me… that was when I realized… I was falling in love. _Kami save us all…_ I told myself. _I'm falling in love!_

It all started one rainy morning. It was the 5th of October… a Friday. I saw her there, standing in the hallway. She was talking to her teacher, well, I don't know why either. But she was smiling. Kami that smile! I don't know what's with that smile, but up to now, when I look back on that day, that smile still takes my breath away. I guess it's because the smiles that meet me from day to day are those types of smile that girls make when they want to impress someone. Her smile was …natural. She wasn't… surely she wasn't trying to impress the teacher! It was…it was a sincere smile. A smile that… It was a smile that can just take away all of your sadness.

The teacher faced my direction, making me wake up from my dream state. He called me to come near, so I did. He then introduced me to her. Her name? I can't speak it. It would be much better if I kept her identity. It's hard to name names at this point of time. Getting back to the story, the teacher introduced us to each other and told me that if I were willing, I'd give up a few hours each day to tutor her in Trigonometry and Geometry. Of course, being the good person I am I told the teacher I'd do it and in fact we can start on that day itself. She and the teacher were delighted. She bowed politely at me, said her thanks and then went off to catch up on her next class. The teacher told me where we, meaning her and I, were to meet. I took a mental note of it, and headed off to my next class.

That was how it all started. My blissful days were at her hands. Sure she'd miss some sessions, but she always informed me ahead of time. I had fun teaching her. She was very… honest. She looks down on herself a lot, but I always tried to encourage her. Always. She was open about her problems to me; problems about her academics, problems at home, problems about her friends. Once she even said, just out of the blue, while she was answering a geometry question: "Look at this problem! It reminds me of my mother! Pie and circumference… Kami, I remember that time when she burned that pie on my brother's birthday…" She's got some sense of humor doesn't she?     

 Age? You want to know how old she was? She's of the same age as I am… in ningen years that is. It's just that she's a year lower. She started schooling when she was… oh I don't know… You see, her father passed away the time her mom was giving birth to her. Nobody was there to be the bred-winner of the family, so they went into poverty for some time. When her mom was able to work again, their life started to become better again, now that money was present. And just like how fairy tales work, they started to live a happy life, even though they were lacking a member. 

Every day that we met was blissful and every day that we didn't meet was full of longing. Then, there came a time when the teacher that introduced us to each other, told us that she won't be needing my help anymore. She was, indeed, she was very happy. I for one was happy too. But a part of me was… a part of me… a part of me was heartrending. I didn't want those blissful days to end. No way! But, then again, I knew this was going to happen… somehow. 

A week passed by and I didn't see her. No. Not even her shadow was seen in the whole school. I don't know where she went, but she was gone. All I know she was gone. Just as my hopes were plunging down, I spotted her. I tried to say 'hi' to her, but she just ran past me. She was, as usual, smiling. But to whom, I don't know. I didn't dare look back at her direction. So I went home that day, my heavy heart full of pain… and sorrow… and love.

That night, as I was reviewing, a piece of paper flew out of my book. I read the scribbles on the paper._ That's it!_ I told myself. _I'll send her roses! Then I'll tell her my feelings for her! This is great!_ The scribbles on the paper were actually her home address. So the weekend that came that week, I sent her some roses on her doorstep. I didn't deliver it myself; I made someone do it for me. And I didn't sign the card; I just plainly wrote the words: " Loving you is what I live for, and I can't ask for anything more. You're my girl, my woman, my friend, rolled into one." 

I don't know how she reacted to this but after an hour, she called me and told me to come pass by her house today. And so I did. But when I came, she shoved me to one corner of the garden and told me, in a very stern voice, "You sent me these roses, didn't you?" I was too shocked to answer, so she continued. "Why did you send me roses? What gives you the right to… to just do this?! I mean… What is wrong with you?!" I had no choice but to lie… but being the bad liar I am, she didn't believe me. "You expect me to believe that crap you just told me?! I know your handwriting, Shuichi! And now you lie to me?! What's happening to you?!" So I told her, as calmly as I could, that I didn't send her roses. Just then, another guy came running up saying, "I sent the roses. Like them?" She turned around and looked at the guy in astonishment. "Gisuke-chan…"  "I didn't expect for them to come so early. Anyway, would you want to introduce me to your friend?"  The guy called Gisuke said. "Uhh… Oh." She turns to face me. "Shuichi-san… this is Gisuke… my boyfriend. Gisuke, this is Minamino Shuichi. He used to tutor me in Trigonometry and Geometry." Gisuke held his hand up for a shake. I took it. "Nice to meet you." "You too."

Eventually, she said sorry for her outrage. She didn't tell me the reason why she reacted like that though… I wonder why too. I went home that day with my heart, heavy as ever. I was drowning in pain and grief._ So that was why she wasn't swooning over me… she was taken._

It still hurts though… up to now… and I don't know why… I just don't know… Maybe I loved her too much… maybe I loved her… I loved her too much.

Roses are red. That's what they usually say. But for me, roses, aside from being deadly weapons, are an instrument of love. They're not just red.  They are in fact, very colorful. Maybe, at your first look, you just see its red color. But try looking at it differently. You'll see what I mean.

But I don't believe in that philosophy anymore. I used to believe in it. But not anymore…

Author's Note: I know… it sucks doesn't it? But, please review!!! I need your comments on this one!!! It's one of my rare one shot fics!!! Constructive criticisms will be highly appreciated. Thanks for your time if you read this fic!!!!

            


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